It's just ohh so pathetic..

I really feel pathetic now. I had been sick since yesterday. And it's really unfair for me to suffer this illness. It has been hard for me to move and do everything I want because I have this. I am somewhat starting to hate myself really.
Once I have been pushing myself to the limit, it would start to attack and it would be quite sometime before I could recover. Maybe wanting to last in daily routines and chores is a good thing but it still endangers my health. I really feel restless now, I want to do many things at once.
Somehow, I am starting to wish to have the ability of a superhero so that I can do anything I want. What a weird premonition and ambition for me. It sure is sad..

My thoughts when you left for UK. T_T

Baby, it's just been a few hours when you left the country. I could still hear your voice ringing in my ears, your sweet and heart-warming words. My oh my, I couldn't help but cry because I know it would be a long time again before I get to see you again, my love. But then again, there goes the tears.

Normal it is for a person to be sorrowful when a loved one leaves, simply because it leaves an undeniably arch of pain in the heart. Thoughts and memories come rushing through my brain and it made me stopped from any activity I was doing then. Oh, how I wish I was able to see you before you boarded the plane, but it was for the best right? Knowing it will be only harder for the both of us to see each other yet we are going to part.

You sure noticed how I tried to stop my tears to fall down when we were still talking on the phone. I was trying to suppress the tears for I know it is also hard for you too. My heart was beating and shattering fast; esp when you said you were already boarding the plane. O, love, the scene seems so depressing.

I know you will come back as promised. I really do hope so. I love you so much and I will be missing you too. The "Hessler" I love is a thousand miles away from me, but distance doesn't matter now. Let's keep this trials between us as reminders how we both must be strong for all that may come between us.

`ich Liebe dich, Hessler Gerard S. Minel.`
Desvincúlese nunca será un estorbo para mí adorarle.
(Distance will never be a hindrance for me to love you.)

Message for my baby (part One)

Alam mo baby, andami dami ko gusto sabihin sayo. Hindi ko nga lang alam kung kasya ang isang araw para masabi ko sayo ang lahat lahat. Siguro hindi matatapos ang pasasalamat ko sayo. Ang sa akin lang lagi mong tatandaan na kahit na malayo tayo sa isa't isa at medyo mahirap ang mga bagay bagay na ating haharapin sa bukas na darating ay andyan ka at sabi mo pa nga sa akin ay hinding hindi mo po ako iiwan. Sobrang grateful po ako at dumating ang isang "Hessler" sa buhay ko upang iparamdam sa akin ang tunay kong halaga at turuan ako paano dapat pahalagahan ang sarili ko at ang mga taong nagmamahal din sa akin. Sobrang laki ang naging epekto ng presensiya mo sa pagiging masaya ko ngayon. Ewan ko po ba kasi nabalik mo po ang dati kong sigla at gawa nun lalo ka pong napamahal sa akin.

Alam mo ba mahal ko, iba ka sa lahat ng taong dumaan sa buhay ko. Bakit? Hmm, Dati kasi sa pagmamahal ko sa ibang tao nakakalimutan ko na ang pagpapahalaga at pagmamahal sa aking sarili; maging ang ibang tao na nagmamahal sa akin ay naisasantabi ko na lang dahil sa gusto ko na maging maligaya ang taong aking minamahal. Pero sobrang iba ka po, kasi po pinakita mo sa akin at ginising mo ako sa aking katangahan. Na dapat hindi ako ganun, natuto man ako hindi pa huli ang lahat, yun ay gawa ng tulong mo.

Mula nang naging tayo, sobrang saya ko po. Wala po kasing dull moment. Kahit na malayo ka sakin, hindi mo pinaramdam sakin na nag iisa ako. Iyon pa lang ay sapat na para masabi ko na dapat nga talaga po kitang mahalin. Marami akong bagay na hindi maipaliwanag, basta ang alam ko po mahal na mahal po kita. Sana po sa paglipas ng panahon ay lalo pa tayo maging matibay sapagkat hindi ko alam anu ang mangyayari sa akin kung mawawala ka po. :(

Medyo korny man ang dating ng message kong ito, wala eh. Sabi nga nila, nagiging korny talaga ang isang tao pag nagmamahal na talaga sya.

Msg to the necklace.

Today as we part for a little while, it seems a very gloomy way.
and no matter how i look at it, it still brings tears on my eyes
for this on i give you this charm to serve as a reminder of my love to you.
as my love will never wade, even if i am afar
this charm will rest upon near your heart
where it can feel your heartbeat
as its pendant is the cross where Jesus has suffered, it will remind you how i let God help us push through
over the mountains of sorrows and trials ahead of us from now on.

I miss You

I miss you onwards
So many times, I searched
For that special someone
Whom I can call mine
Who walks by me side by side forward.

I miss you a lot.
Those soft, warm hands
Which gives assurances
Shielding me from harm and hindrances.

I miss you more.
In every single second, minute and even hours
Reminiscing every moment of ours
Simply break my heart and makes my eyes sore.

I am missing you tonight.
The night came and is gloomy.
Seemingly it shares my loneliness
As the wind whistles, I hope you’re alright.

I miss you now.
I think of you wistfully
To be at your side
Seeing heaps of sceneries of the long ride.

I miss you now and forevermore.
Silly it may seem, still that’s true
Hear me through and through
Hoping more time with you.

Again, I miss you.
For the reason I love you so
Praying for more time
Time to spend with you more so.